Flashlight

We've been having some incredibly intense thunderstorms this season and our power has gone from flickerings to brown outs to black outs, which rarely ever used to happen. Since it seems to be our natural state of affairs to always be unprepared, this last power outage found us fumbling around by candlelight looking for the one and only flashlight we own - which was supposed to be in the kitchen on the bookcase next to the fridge. Naturally, it wasn't there. As a joke, I started calling: "Here flashy-flashy-flashy...here flashy-flashy." Imagine my surprise when I heard the following feeble reply:

Over here. I-I'm over here.

The voice had a distinct German accent and I don't know why, but I immediately thought of Albert Einstein. I headed over toward the junk drawer near the sink (as opposed to the junk drawer under the coffee-maker counter) and waved the candle over the contents. I caught a glimmer of its shiny silver aluminum casing and triumphantly pulled it from under a blanket of pens, pencils and half-crayons. "I found it!!" I proclaimed while waving it victoriously in the air.

Ohhh...(he implored in a whisper)...please don't move me about like that. The motion and the velocity are making me queasy.

Oh, I am so sorry. You just have no idea how happy we are to have found you! (I pushed the switch, hoping to flood the room with light, but it seemed to illuminate no better than the candle.) Uh, I think it needs batteries. (I shone the golden glow back into the junk drawer and miraculously discovered two "AA" batteries. The transformation in the flashlight was instantaneous.)

Ah! I feel so...so...so full of energy! ( A window rattling thunder clap caught me off guard and I very nearly dropped the flashlight. By now, my family was gathered together in the den, waiting impatiently for the flashlight and I to join them.)

We'd better go shed some light on the situation.

Yes, yes...to be sure (the flashlight concurred). After all, light from a candle or light from a flashlight...it's all relative!