I was sitting in the mostly empty waiting area of a doctor's office, staring at a lovely print of a meandering river flowing between a slumbering field and rolling autumnal hills, minding my own business, when I distinctly heard an argument taking shape. The raised voices seemed to be coming from a set of identical connected chairs just to my right.
"People do so like me more!" the chair farthest away from me proclaimed.
"No, they don't!" announced the chair closest to me. "I think we're chosen equally." (I was pretty sure I heard her mutter, "But, really, me more!")
"I heard that! And you've got a screw loose, I tell you!" the first chair declared. "I'm an aisle seat...obviously a prime location."
"Well, I'm next to a table - with magazines, I might add!" chair number two retorted haughtily. "You don't have a leg to stand on if you seriously think you're more popular."
"Take that back!" demanded the first seat. "I bet the next human chooses me, and then we'll just see!"
At that moment, a woman with two toddlers entered the waiting area. She plopped each one into one of the bickering chairs and went up to the counter to register. The tiny humans immediately began to slap one another, but repeatedly managed to stop just before their mother caught them in the act. The chairs let out what everyone else must have assumed to be a loud creak, but I'm sure I heard a syncronous, exasperated "You win!"
About Me
- Jude
- I’m writing this because years ago I had a scathingly brilliant idea for a novel and someone else beat me to it – Michael A. Stusser and his “The Dead Guy Interviews” (mine was going to be called “Mental Letters”). I also came up with “Teamonade,” and Snapple swiped that. We won’t even discuss Rachael Ray’s pinching my word “Stoup.” So, here’s my new idea before someone else steals it – conversations with inanimate objects (well, stuff that you don’t normally expect to hear from).
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