Yesterday as I was passing our Michael Graves designer toaster (okay, so it's from Target), I started to wonder what our toaster might be thinking. So I asked it -
So...what are you thinking?
Not much. (She sounded a little gloomy, very much like Eeyore [see Winnie the Pooh].)
Oh, are you having a crummy day?
Ha. Ha. Ha. You couldn't wait to say that, could you?
Go ahead...how about, "Not feeling too hot?" or "Got a slot on your mind?" I've heard them all. That food processor over there's a real cut-up.
I'm really sorry. I honestly wanted to know what you were thinking.
Don't mind me. It just burns me up when everybody seems to think life's just a stupid bowl of cherries. Like that bowl of cherries over there by the paper towels.
Oh, I know what you mean. I had no idea, though, that you were so deep down in the pits.
It's just that I want more. I can see the TV from here, you know. I saw "The Brave Little Toaster" last week. I want to go on a quest, too. Just because I'm not shiny and have no one to search for doesn't mean that I can't dream, does it?
Absolutely not! Do you have any idea what you'd like to do, or how we can help?
Oh, I don't know. I guess I'm just letting off steam. It's probably only a reaction to that pumpernickel bagel I toasted this morning. Pumpernickel never agrees with me.
Well, quest or not, we all think of you as our own brave little toaster. After all, those Toaster Strudels and Everything bagels can't be easy. And we'll try to ease up on the pumpernickel.
Look, come back tomorrow. I'm just having an off day. Maybe tomorrow I'll be more perky. (I quickly glanced at the coffee pot and am positive that I detected an evil glare directed at the poor little toaster.)